Have you ever had one of those days when you just know youíre dying but not yet?
It started when I awoke and stopped to think about myself. Infrequently, thankfully, that can start the equivalent of a cobalt chain reaction.
I got up three times but gave up each time. Then the pains in my head started.
Not because of the thinking process, but because of a medical condition noted on my records as "the head of the malleus and the incus were eroded and the stapes superstructure was missing, the facial nerve canal was intact and there was a possible small fistula into the lateral semi-circular canal that was not explored because of fibrous granulations...".
I went back to bed thinking Iíd be safer there. Then I got to thinking that if I continued to lie there Iíd just die and no-one would know until the flies started to crawl out under the apartment door to freedom, presumably when there was nothing left of me to feast on or infest with maggots.
I had an appointment due at 3.30pm and it was now --- damn, there goes the doorbell and Iím still in bed thinking about the fact that Iím thinking about the fact that Iím like dying but Iím not and was that the smatterings of a kaleidoscopic heart attack?
I raise my head two inches from the bed and shift a few limbs to let them know I hadnít forgotten about them then collapse exhausted the two inches back to the mattress. It wasnít turning into a good day.
I maul myself a few times just to convince myself there is still something fleshible to maul, ponder what to do next and try instead to sleep. Twenty minutes later I am mad enough to beat the mattress to a pulp of mangled steel spring and soggy dowd filling so instead get up like someone dealing with octogenarianism for the seventh time and sing meaningless songs to my guitar.
Have you ever had one of those days?
Hoopleís cat knew about them and was only trying to soothe the angry grimaces appearing on Hoopleís face while Hoople slept the sleep of Hoople and Hoopleís cat accidentally fell asleep on Hoopleís face and is now in deep lifelong penance in the Caterwaulkie Mountains with Boris the tom and Thug the one-footed canary.
And you know the worst of it is that it hasnít ended. The day, that is. Yet.
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