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Editor's note: The virus described below is also known and detected as
Win32.Bagle.AQ [Computer Associates], Bagle.BC [Panda], WORM_BAGLE.AT [Trend Micro], Bagle.AT [F-Secure], W32/Bagle.AQ@mm [Norman], W32/Bagle.bb@mm [McAfee], W32/Bagle-AU [Sophos], W32.Beagle.AV@mm [Norton]
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Idiot Anti-Nukers Will Only Have Seconds to Say They Were Right printable version
27 Apr 2022: posted by the editor - Features, International
By David Swanson
There’s a lot of funny stuff in politics, but the most ludicrous has got to be these holdovers from the 1980s running around warning that we could all die in a nuclear war. The idiots have not realized that nobody cares, that they look like morons, and that they’ll only have seconds in which to point out that they were right. What sort of awards do they expect to be given in the space of a half a minute?
Everybody’s going to be about to die in a matter of seconds. Maybe some people will be in lucky places and have a few minutes. Maybe on the edges of certain areas people will get to writhe in pain for hours. Or if it’s a small nuclear war limited to one part of the world, and other people are doomed to envy the dead while starving to death under a nuclear winter, tell me who is really going to want to be told that a bunch of people we’ve never heard of who look like morons were right all along? Who’s going to even believe they were right all along and didn’t just make up that they’d been screaming the same thing at the top of their lungs for 75 years? Won’t we be too busy saying goodbye to our loved ones? Won’t we actually blame these people who knew what was coming but were so incompetent at screaming for 75 years that we never even heard them? I mean you’d really have to suck at screaming, right?
So, here’s some advice that I offer free of charge to the anti-nukes crowd. Predict things that you can survive. You can even predict climate collapse, but predict it by stages, predict how bad it will get 1 year at a time, see? That way you can take credit and at least have a little clique of weirdos who think you’re awesome.
Or, if you want to do better than that, predict actually admirable things. You’re into nukes, right? So, predict that the stocks of nuke companies are going to soar. It’s not rocket science (get it?) when you just have to buy the stocks that Congress Members tweet that they just bought. Even you nitwits can manage this. If you predict that weapons stocks are going up and you buy them, you will look cool as hell.
You can even predict that sending billions of dollars worth of free weapons to anybody who lives near Russia and hasn’t been censored by Youtube will lead to a need for yet more weapons. Now you start looking genius. Take it from me, almost nobody gets this. You can predict that adding more countries to NATO will mean more weapons, plus more Russian hostility, plus more Russian spending on weapons, which will mean more U.S. spending on weapons, which will mean even more countries in NATO. Are you catching on?
I’m letting you in on what is still pretty much the ground floor here. If this goes the way I think, you can even predict that more NATO expansion is needed because of a coming nuclear war, which is bound to . . . oh god damn piss merde jesus hellraiser christ. OK we’re back where you jackasses started. But only after many weeks of glory and admiration. Think about it.
You’re pretty much just trying to help everyone without any benefit to yourselves. Idiots.
Tags: nuclear war
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March 7, 2004
'NEW GENERATION' ANTIVIRUS SOFTWARE BLOCKS MOST VIRUSES, WITHOUT UPDATES
Netsky, Bagle, MyDoom, Hiton, Sobig, Nimda, Swen etc. no threat to NOD32 users
NOD32's new 'next generation' antivirus software has detected > 80% of all new in-the-wild viruses in the last six months without needing specific signature updates, and without 'false-alarms'.
In this era of fast infecting, mass-emailing viruses, any delay in providing protection can have a huge impact on virus spread. NOD32's performance in stopping most viruses without any need for a signature update is highly significant.
'While most antivirus makers were scrambling to create signature updates NOD32 users were already protected even before anyone knew what these infections were.' commented Kirk Parker, NOD32 Corporate's Technical Manager.
'Many antivirus products use a combination of signature and heuristic detection methods, but few give much attention to the heuristic side,' commented Richard Marko, NOD32's head of Strategic Development.
NOD32 antivirus is the exception, with new, world-leading technology in both signature and heuristic detection. NOD32 was able to block these latest infected messages using its 'Advanced Heuristics', detecting more than 80% of new 'in-the-wild' viruses without a signature update. Viruses pre-detected by NOD32's heuristics include LoveLetter, Marburg,
Badtrans, Swen, Bugbear, Sobig, Kournikova, Lovsan, Lablan, Mapson, Sobig Mimail, Klez, Sircam, Nimda, Bagle and Netsky. Signature updates are released as often as needed.
NOD32 has been awarded more VB100% awards (by Virus Bulletin Magazine UK) than any other antivirus product, and actually has not missed a single 'in-the-wild' virus in over 5 years of testing by Virus Bulletin Magazine.
For more information see www.nod32.ie www.nod32.ie
First To Receive Checkmark Antivirus Certification Levels 1, 2 And Trojan For Windows 2003
San Diego, CA - September 2, 2003
NOD32 is a user-friendly, fully configurable anti-virus software package suitable for single user stand-alone use or for network environments and systems managers. It is particularly well tailored towards network systems protection.
It has all the programmable features you'd expect of good anti-virus software and Eset Software provide an interactive and automated virus database download upgrade service so your virus definitions can be always up to date.
The program incorporates a wide range of protection levels and the software has gained many acclimas for detecting previously unknown viruses in the wild.
The manufacturers say the following:
Eset Software, a leading provider of Internet software security solutions, announced today that its NOD32 Antivirus software has become the first product for the Windows 2003 operating system to receive prestigious Checkmark certification at Levels 1, 2 and Trojan, from SC Magazine's West Coast Labs.
"The Checkmark certification of NOD32 for Windows 2003 to AV [Anti-Virus] Levels 1,2 and Trojan, is the hallmark of a company whose philosophy is to be a cutting-edge AV developer," commented Chris Thomas, Operations Director of West Coast Labs, in a statement announcing the results.
"West Coast Labs' certification process represents the true test of an antivirus product's capability to detect viruses, worms, and Trojans. Eset is pleased to provide its growing client base even further proof of the top detection qualities of NOD32 Antivirus on the Windows 2003 platform," commented Miroslav Trnka, Eset's Chief Technology Officer. Unprecedented Virus Detection NOD32 Checkmark certification comes just after the product received its record 23rd Virus Bulletin VB100% Awards granted by Virus Bulletin, the "Antivirus Industry Bible". Analysts have confirmed the company's claim of having the only product to never miss an 'In the Wild' (ItW) virus during its Virus Bulletin testing since May 1998.The developers say that NOD32 Antivirus' effectiveness is due to its unique core technology that addresses both known and unknown viruses. NOD32 Antivirus, by way of its advanced heuristic technology, provides state-of-the-art protection against both ItW and unidentified viruses. Heuristics enables NOD32 Antivirus to detect virus-like activity, thereby automatically initiating action to isolate the potentially infected files without false alarms. NOD32 Antivirus' remarkable detection rate enables it to do its job without impacting system performance-a major concern for many users. NOD32 Antivirus' throughput rate-more than twice the speed of the next best product on the market-also provides the fastest possible detection with minimal impact on system performance. Eset Software's NOD32 Antivirus Version 2.0 is available for Windows 95/98/ME/NT/2000/XP/2003, MS-DOS, Unix, and Novell. For more information about NOD32 Antivirus contact Richard Foley at +353-51-841051 or firstname.lastname@example.org visit our website at www.nod32.ie
About ESET: Eset is a privately held software development and research company with offices in San Diego, London, Prague, and Bratislava. Founded in 1992, Eset has focused on developing innovative antivirus software systems. NOD32 Antivirus has evolved from that development process to be consistently rated as one of the best antivirus products. In fact, NOD32 Antivirus holds more Virus Bulletin 100% Awards than any other product available, and is now the only product to be certified at Checkmark Antivirus Levels 1, 2, and Trojan on the Windows 2003 platform. About Checkmark: The Checkmark provides a clear and unambiguous indication of attainment of a relevant standard for users of computer security solutions. The Checkmark standard is a real-world, industry accepted test. Users can very easily tell if a product possesses a Checkmark certification by ensuring that the Checkmark logo appears on the product package, by contacting West Coast Labs, or by visiting the Checkmark web site, www.check-mark.com http://www.check-mark.com.
Outpost Firewall Pro Available in Republic of Ireland
[Windows 98/Me/NT4/2000/XP only]
News Agnitum, the home of Outpost Personal Firewall Pro and Tauscan-Windows security applications for business and home use-has signed a distribution agreement with Reflex to market Agnitum's Outpost Firewall Pro in the Republic of Ireland and the United Kingdom. Outpost will be customized for the local market, and sold in an online store at www.outpost.uk.com
Reflex will also provide technical support for customers."After investigating several competing products we decided on Agnitum Outpost Firewall Pro because of its versatility and reliability. It is a feature-rich product and offers an excellent line of defence towards PC security," said Richard Foley, Reflex's Managing Director. Outpost Firewall Pro is a powerful, full-featured firewall for Windows that is designed for families and businesses of all sizes. Outpost Firewall Pro gives peace of mind from any threats by cookies, banner ads, e-mail viruses, backdoors, spyware, hackers, adware and virtually every other Internet danger. Unlike other personal firewalls, Outpost starts protecting against internal and external attacks as soon as it's installed. This is the first firewall with an open architecture and support for plug-ins, so its capabilities can easily be extended by thousands of developers worldwide. Outpost Firewall Pro protects your system from worm and virus attacks that arrive by e-mail. You can filter e-mails based upon their content, and Outpost will prevent dangerous attachments from executing. Outpost performs web filtering, allowing parents, educators and businesses to exercise control over the content that is allowed to reach each computer. Outpost offers a privacy guard feature as well as a plug-in that will block banner advertisements from your web pages. When processing packets, the program offers complete flexibility for power users who want to fine-tune their firewall protection. You can use Outpost's wizard to develop custom rules for dealing with all packets. Application authentication (MD5), ICS support, Trusted IP group and ICMP rules can all be controlled. Less experienced users can simply use the predefined system and application settings for all common tasks such as browsing the Web, allowing ICQ and allowing DNS and DHCP. There is even an easy NetBIOS rule-creation process for working with home and office networks. Users can get free updates to Outpost automatically, using the program's built-in update utility. Outpost's interface is multi-language, configurable for each user and its settings can be password protected. Inexperienced users will appreciate the ease of installation and ability to simply set Outpost's protection features. Power users will appreciate that Outpost resides on the lowest possible level of the operating system, allowing it to filter RAW-SOCKET and direct packet sending into the drivers, bypassing the TCP/IP stack. Outpost runs under Windows 98/Me/NT4/2000/XP, and a free version is available for home, business and educational use. You can download a copy from the Outpost web site at http://www.outpost.uk.com
For more information, contact Outpost at email@example.com. About Agnitum
Since 1999, Agnitum has been developing and marketing Windows security applications for business and home use. In addition to Outpost, Agnitum also offers Jammer and Tauscan. Jammer is a multi-barrier protection complex design for novice users. Jammer investigates incoming and outgoing Internet traffic, monitors applications, and protects the Windows registry. Tauscan is a powerful Trojan virus detection and removal application - www.agnitum.com
Reflex was founded in 1992 and specializes in IT security solutions. The company distributes award winning NOD32 anti-Virus, Adhaero Access Control software and specializes in IT security solutions including SurfControl WEB & Email filtering, RSA, Veritas, Symantec, Nokia, CheckPoint & Citrix - www.reflex.ie
Firewall Agnitum Outpost Firewall Pro is the most feature-packed personal firewall for Windows, a fact that is proven by many independent reviews and millions of users around the world. Outpost provides a superior arsenal of defense against all kinds of PC infiltration. Outpost Firewall Pro is the only product of its breed to implement plug-in technology, which allows third party developers to further extend Outpost's functionality.Norton 2001 - anti-virus programme.
If you are using Windows 2000 you can download trial use of the Norton Anti-virus programme from http://www.symantec.com
Norton Internet Security 2001 is still avaliable on the net as a full download package but adjustments will need to be made to your system to install.
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